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#stormchips movement inspires Maritime emergency kit
Photo: haligonia: hfx news @haligonia (Twitter)HALIFAX—Maritimers emerged unscathed and full of potato chips after a tempest blew through Eastern Canada last week.During the harsh winter of 2013/2014,...
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I’d like to buy the world a milk
Photo: Mike Mozart (flickr)TORONTO—Coca-Cola has started distributing Fairlife milk, a new take on classic moo juice. This concoction has 30% more calcium, half the sugar, twice the protein, and no...
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Sun News shutdown causes Mad Cow in Alberta
Image Courtesy: U.S.D.A. (flickr) The sudden end to the Sun News Network, more commonly referred to as Fox North, has prompted an outbreak of Mad Cow Disease at an Alberta farm.The direct implications...
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Oversight pairs peanut and anaphylactic awareness days
Photo: Steven Depolo (flickr).OTTAWA—In a blunder sure to result in panic and countless deaths, April 25 has been designated both National Peanut Day and Anaphylactic Awareness Day.“This could be very...
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'Low Food' diet craze sweeping the nation
The Cabbage Soup Diet is an example of a rather arduous modern diet that can be made to look much more appealing by the inclusion of an attractive naked woman. (Image: TipTimes, CC-BY-SA 2.0)Madonna is...
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Indie coffee shop to open in basement of indie coffee shop
Image: finklebottomTORONTO—Yarn bomber and blogger Trish Austra likes coffee. She likes it enough to open a new coffee shop in the basement of an existing coffee shop.“I mean, I like Steam Punked”...
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Grandfather demands tea bagging at birthday dinner
Photo: Toshiyuki IMAI (CC BY SA 2.0)WINNIPEG—“Tea bag me!” shouted Abe Vasquez at last Sunday’s family dinner.Following the meal, Vasquez’s daughter had set the table for dessert. That’s when her...
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Coca-Cola Corporation Sued for One Hundred Million Dollars
Photo: Mike Mozart (CC BY SA 2.0)Documents filed in Supreme Court today, reveal that the Coca-Cola Corporation is being sued in civil division for an unprecedented one hundred million dollars.The...
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McDonald’s not lovin’ having it Burger King’s way
Photo: Ron Frazier (CC BY 2.0)U.S.—In an effort to raise funds for peace, Burger King invited McDonald’s to combine forces and create the ultimate hybrid burger. McDonald’s is not lovin’ it.“BK had...
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Man excercises democratic right, votes Hawaiian over Pepperoni
Credit: Calliope, flickr. OTTAWA—Earlier today, 20 year old Jeff Ranson expressed his desire for real change by voting for Hawaiian pizza over Pepperoni.“Some say voting doesn’t matter,” admitted Jeff....
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New Putin-inspired fragrances will smell like food, sports
Photo: Global Panorama (CC BY-SA-2.0)The creator of “Leaders Number One”, a fragrance inspired by Vladimir Putin, has announced that additional scents inspired by the Russian president are already...
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Prawn captures pawn in mall checkmate
Photo: Christine Kongsvik (CC BY-2.0)WEST VANCOUVER—Park Royal Shopping Centre has launched a counter-attack on some of its regulars. The mall recently banned chess players from using space meant for...
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Coffee houses burn in java gangland
OTTAWA—A bitter turf war between two rival upstarts and the industry powerhouses has seemingly resulted in another java joint burned to the ground.When Beaver’s Mug Café was torched in Ottawa's Glebe...
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